Part 3 in the Crone Series
You may be entering the crone years if you’ve redefined what selfish means.
Women are raised and programmed to be selfless, to always put the needs of others ahead of our own. To skip dessert when there isn’t enough for everyone.
For women who are mothers, the selflessness extends to sleepless nights, taking on multiple and over-lapping part-time jobs like chauffeur, administrative assistant, nurse, social co-ordinator and teacher (among others) that erode me-time and self-care.
We come to believe that a candle isn’t burning properly if there isn’t a flame on both ends.
And what did that get us? Melted. Exhausted. Out of shape. Grumpy. Often, we don’t remember our goals and dreams because they’ve been neglected for so long.
But sometime around the hormonal shifts of perimenopause and menopause, there’s another shift. Suddenly, everyone else’s needs are no longer a priority. You make it onto your own “to-do” list.
Self-ish and self-centred aren’t curse words anymore.
You’re in your pjs by 6pm if you want. You go to yoga class for your mental and physical wellbeing even if that means you don’t get groceries… again.
Your ability to say “no” to burdensome requests for your precious time and energy becomes swift and free of guilt. Your yeses feel good because they come from the heart, and dang it, give you pleasure.
You’re making plans to leave your soul-sucking job, if you haven’t already.
You’re ready to find a vocation that lights you up.
You’ve started to let go of friendships – even intimate relationships – that take more than they give.
You matter to you now.
It may have happened because of the hormones. It may have happened when that last straw fluttered down on your back. It may have happened when your accumulated life experience (wisdom!) showed you that nothing in your life will change until you do. It may have happened because you had an experience that reminded you of your mortality.
It doesn’t matter why it happened, just know that starting to consider your life to be important isn’t selfish.
But it *is* a crone thing.
I’d love to know what you no longer consider to be selfish!
Sending you love,
Lisa
PS If it’s time for you to be a little more self-centred, to truly heal, and get support as you tap into your powerful wisdom and soul purpose, contact me here to learn about the all-new one-on-one Women’s Wisdom Wheel mentorship and energy healing program, guided by the medicine wheel and lots of crone energy!