As I mentioned in an earlier post, I’ve recently taken a pretty long hiatus. Like, almost 2023 long. I was sort of pushed into it by life circumstances, and yet, the decision to stay on pause was intentional. I didn’t want to fall into familiar patterns. I wanted change.
Life had become days of wash, rinse, repeat – and the fun was gone. I was bored. I was figuratively) bruised. I was questioning a lot of things about who I am and what I want, and I was, frankly, disappointed.
I needed time to Be with my Self. And as I pulled back from people, I learned a lot.
*I discovered so many more ways that social programming (a.k.a other people’s expectations) had infiltrated my Being and steered me away from my Soul path. I’ve also realized this “discovering” will be an ongoing process. (I have SO much to share about this!)
*I became sensitized to the distractions that pull us away from exploring our Soul path – me from mine, and you from yours, too. (Stay tuned.)
*I came to understand my sensitivity to other’s people’s energy, and how I respond to it (To be clear, I’m not an empath – but I do really “See” you.)
I’ve finally accepted that because I “See” people, I make some folks uncomfortable. I catalyze. Without saying a word or even holding eye contact, some people can feel like I’m judging them. I’ve danced with this my entire life – wondering what it was *wrong about me,* what vibes I was putting off, that people could have such immediate and polarized reactions to me.
I realize now it’s not me.
When I’m with people, I merely reflect their own energy back to them, and they’re reacting to themselves.
So, if someone meets me and suddenly feels like they are lying to themselves about how happy they are in their relationship; or that, no, in fact, they really aren’t living up to their own potential; or that they actually fake being thrilled to give to others until they’re exhausted, it’s not because I said anything or implied anything or likely even thought anything.
It’s not about me at all. In fact, it’s like I’m not even there.
It’s more like when you meet me, you’re looking in a Truth mirror. You don’t see Me. You see You, without the makeup and fancy dress and masks and pretences and myths you’ve created to hide and protect your Self. It gets real, real quick. No wonder being around me can ruffle feathers for some people.
(If you’re intrigued, look up the Reflector in Human Design. That’s me.)
I’ve come to understand that rather than being a curse, this ability to reflect is a superpower that I’ll be using more.
*I’ve learned that because I reflect other people’s energy, I have to protect my own. I’ve learned what I need to nourish and support my own well-being, and I’m building that more intentionally into my own self-care.
*While I have never really struggled with protecting my personal boundaries, my boundaries got an upgrade.
*I became crystal clear about the fact that I am not here to play small. In fact, I’m here to create massive impact. I’m more committed than ever to supporting women who are ready to follow their own soul stirrings.
*And through the process, I was finally able to release 19 stubborn pounds of fat that had crept onto my body during my transition to menopause. With my training in nutrition, I have always focused on the care and feeding of my body. But I now understand to an even deeper level the importance of creating the healthiest possible body, because the body houses the Soul that came here to do important things.
I feel revitalized in many ways, and know that this is, still, only the beginning.
Sending you love,
PS Because I reflect You back to You, I can truly help you see your own BS so you can get out of your own way. And because I listen and I’m curious, I ask really good questions that will help you get the clarity you crave about your Self and what’s next for you. That might intimidate some. It inspires others. Going forward, I will be focusing my coaching and programs on women who are ready, eager and inspired to reach their highest potential. More details coming soon!