Before the sun rose on my very long dark-night-of-the-soul, I was terrified that I’d never figure out my purpose. I felt abandoned and alone and had no idea what why I’m here. I had done “all the things” I was “supposed to do” and yet I felt like a total failure. And if you’re feeling the same things, take heart: you can find clarity, joy, and direction again. These five steps completely transformed my life and helped me uncover my purpose.
1. I stopped looking “out there” for the magic pill that was going to save me.
While it’s true we need to expose ourselves to new ideas, take courses, read books, and find a mentor you trust and who helps you get results, I gave WAY too much power away to other people to finally “fix” me.
Sidenote: Nobody can fix you.
Some ahas and energy work can be immediately life-changing, for sure. But often these quick results are like a pain pill for a headache: they take care of the immediate problem, but the headache *will* come back if you keep doing the things that caused it. Deep and permanent transformation comes from committing to yourself, making sometimes uncomfortable changes, and taking the time required for changes to integrate.
2. I stopped over-thinking.
Rather than getting stuck making endless pro-con lists and paralysing myself into inaction trying to predict every possible outcome of a thing before I’d decide, I learned how to get out of my head so much, and back into the rest of my body. The heart palpitations stopped, the tension headaches disappeared, and I started to feel happy emotions again. Oh, and I started sleeping through the night. Hallulujah!
I also discovered that over-thinking thing was a major block to accessing my intuition.
Which leads to:
3. I learned to trust my intuition.
I remember years ago telling people my intuition didn’t work. The truth was: I just didn’t know how to use it and I certainly didn’t pay attention to it. I’ve since realized how many times in my past my intuition had it right, and I got it wrong. (Two divorces worth of getting it wrong, for a start. 😉)
With practice, I’ve learned to recognize my intuition and how it shows up for me. I learned how to use tools and practices like shamanic journeying to access my inner wisdom more consistently. Now I’m able to use both my brain and my intuition to guide my choices. I’m not leaving any decision-making tools unused in the box. And I have so much more energy.
4. I let a lot of crap go.
Like: other people’s opinions about how I was supposed to be. Television. Relationships that were dragging me down. Habits that didn’t serve me. Thoughts that didn’t serve me. Anger. Clutter. Booze. The more I let go, the easier it got. The lighter I felt. (Physically and emotionally.)
I made space for good things to flow into my life. And they did.
5. I got to know myself.
Once I pared back all the stuff that wasn’t good for me, I was left with… me. And so I got to know me. I did a deep dive into questions like: What do I value? What do I like? How do I want to be? What are my gifts and how do I want to use them? How do I want to be remembered?
All the answers didn’t come right away. Remember what I said about deep transformation taking time? In fact, this process of “becoming” is ongoing and continues until our last breath.
But through the process of self-discovery, you know what happened? I figured out my primary purpose. (Spoiler alert: it’s the same as yours.) Can you guess what it is? Share below!
Much love
Lisa
PS Are you ready to find your purpose through self-discovery? Enrol in the fee 12 Days of Living Authentically mini-course tailored to women leaders, visionaries, change-makers and action-takers who want to create meaningful lives with massive impact. Go here to register.